Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts

November 07, 2012

Seven Eleven , Goodbye Seventeen

Assalamualaikum

harini 7.11.2012
or lebih sedap kalo disebut

Seven Eleven =)

yup.
hari yang dinanti2kan oleh aku
sbb tepat jek kul 12am
umur aku akan meningkat 

cepat rasenya masa berlalu
rase mcm baru semalam aku sambut birthday aku yang ke-17

tapi harini
detik ni
aku dah pun 18taun meniti kehidupan ni..

18taun aku menjadi 
seorang hamba Allah, 
seorang anak ,
seorang student ,
seorang adik,
seorang kakak [pada adik2 angkat]
seorang sahabat
seorang teman 
dan
seorang kenalan 
pada orang2 sekeliling aku..

TAPI
ape agaknye jasa yg dah aku lakukan sepanjang hidup aku?
atau apa agaknye amalan yg dah aku lakukan sepanjang aku diberi PINJAMAN oksigen dariNya?

aku merenung kembali saat bermulanya aku mencapai usia baligh,
terlalu banyak dosa yang da aku lakukan
dengan sedar
dan tanpa sedar

ruginye aku sebagai manusia yg sntiasa melakukan dosa 
ruginya aku selama 18taun terkapai2 mencari erti kehidupan

..............................................................................................................

kisah yang lalu tak dapat dipulihkan balik
tapi yang akan datang aku akan cuba perbaiki dari hari ke hari =)

birthday aku taun ni amat berbeza dr taun2 sebelumnya
sbb aku dikurniakan anugerah yang PALING besar dan PALING bernilai

aku diberi peluang untuk sehat semula
lpas terima Buah Pinggang baru pada 8Julai2012 lepas

aku dapat merasakan satu perubahan sdg berlaku dlm diri aku

sehari sebelum 7Nov2012
aku berdoa dan berharap sangat Allah panjangkan umur aku

supaya pada 7Nov2012
aku mampu buka mata dan melihat diri aku yang kian meningkat dewasa.

................................................................................................................

moga di usia ni aku akan lebih matang
lebih bijak selesaikan masalah harian
lebih tenang menghadapi keperitan
dan 
lebih semangat meneruskan kehidupan =)

insyaAllah

Terima Kaseh semua yang wish aku =)
smoga korang korang dan korang dimudahkan segala urusan dan dilindungi Allah selalu.


October 09, 2012

Mission Starts

Assalamualaikum =)

..................................................
sejak aku transplant
aku semakin gemok
dan terus gemok
sbb side effect ubat buat aku jd lapar
dan terus lapar
so...

pada
8.10.12
aku start satu mission

i want from this


to this


so what i need to do is






lpas da buat sume ni
akan tibe satu masa
aku mencapai target aku


from


i want to



hopefully i won't quit what i have started =)

goodluck to me =)

July 01, 2011

Clean N Clear

desktop da bersih.
tp blom kemas folder2 dalaman
lapang sikit otak tgk desktop mcm ni
heheh
=)

June 14, 2011

Ape Pon Taboleyyy!!

lately aku tatau knape
kpala aku saket sgt2
tengkuk ni rase mcm nk tercabut
tak tahan rasenye

ni la parahnye bile ade darah tinggi
kadang2 aku akan mengalami bende2 mcm ni
tp kali ni
aku betul2 tak tahan
tp apekan daya kan
aku terpakse tahan utk trus study

wlupon aku saket
aku terpakse jugak tahan utk ke skola
sbb 1 hari tak dtg
ketinggalan mcm2 bende

aku harap saket ni akan baek cepat
harap jugak tade ape2 yg serius dgn saket kpala aku ni
Amin.

p/s : bile saket kpala, APE PON TABOLEYYY!!

November 28, 2010

Kerja Amal..heheheh

halo halo readers!
if yesterday my mood like sh**
today my mood like sushi!
hehehe

means..
quite okay..
so-so

ermm..
what i'm going to write?
ok..its about my activity today..
heheh

get up quite early than before..keh3
then at 12pm i was really damn sleepy
so i took a nap for an hour..
just a nap okey!
repeat..nap!
hahaha

then at about 1 pm
i woke up and had my lovely lunch..
the meal for me today was sambal sardin..
my beloved..
its so delicious!
bcoz?
the chef was my mom!
she cooked spegeti for othe siblings n oso for my lovely daddy

back to my activity..
i was been asked to build ikea table which we bought from ikea last week..
its not that i build from nothing to something..
just connect the legs with the table with scrus
as simple as that
huhu

here are the pictures when i tried to connect them with my two sweet hands..ahahah

yea..those tables are from ikea

first , settle the white one..
credit to mr.nikon n tamron lens for helping me capture those photos!
next, settle this black one..
tadaaa~ both are ready to use~
huhuhu

next..
keje amal aku ialah...
tolong my bro basuh kete yg kecik ni..
wlupon kecik..
penatnye smpai ke malam..
wakkaka
sabun da teruk
tak elok..
so buih tade..
wargh...

p/s: gmba diambil stelah vacuum slesai..


the end of my Kerja Amal today.

ade lagi kot..nantikan..
haha

sekian..
mood : tired , but puas hati.

December 09, 2009

Nk burn fat!!! go away la FATT!!!

one day before yesterday...
monday ler..
hehehe

i went to hdu in pantai..
sje melawat nurse2 n patient kt situ..
then ade weight scale..
so aku pon try la ...

biler da duduk..

ERKKK!!!! WHATT??? BAPAK BERAT GILERRRR!!! PANGGGG!!!

then nurse kt c2 kata aku da makin tembam..
makin gemok..
makin tinggi..ngeheheh
suke2 yg bab tinggi tu jek..
tp yg gemok tu...
haishhh!!!
mencik4!!!

so....
ape lg...
aku pon dgn semangat waja nyer..
excercise..mulai saat ini..
arini aku da bakar 101 calories..
anyone know 1kg equals to how many calories???
aku nk turunkan weight aku
tak kire cmne pon!
tp ofcoz i wont be too exert..
nnty saket susah kn..
heheh

current hoby : playing bowling..angkat weight..cycle[exercise machine..]
n ofcoz..
permanent hobby : photography!! tu takley tinggal oo..
hehehe

now already dec..
tak lme lg result pmr kuar..
so..
gudluck guys!!!
aku tayah g skola amek result..yeayyy!!
ahahah

n yg tak sngke nye..
aku skunk reading a novel..
n ofcoz romance..
ahahah

horor2 tak men ar..
aku kn jiwang..
ngahahha

walaupon aku kasar,raget,tomboyish sket..lasak..aku tetap jiwang karat..
jiwe lembut..
erk.
wakakak
panggg!!

lembut tp ganaz..
paham?

now i'm focusing to reduce my weight!!
jom zaza!!
kiter bersama mengejar mimpi~~
wkakaka
pangggg

k all!!
tu jerk
bye2
salamm!!

end!!

November 12, 2009

Happiest Moment In My Life..!

7.11.2009

tarikh aper tu ek??
tarikh yg menunjukkan aku da mkin tua..
heheh

SAYA DA 15~~~!!!!

akhirnye..
aku da pon 15..
da tak sebaye lg dgn dak2 form 2..[pandang his]
ahahha

so di umur yg da semakin remaja nie...
aku kene la brtmbah matang kan..
dan mst la ade azam baru..
heheh

tp azam aku same jek mcm taun2 sudah..
nk berjaya dlm idup..
nk berjaya kat akhirat..
nk sehat cm dak2 len..

azam cm org len jugak..

.......................................................................

taun nie..
taun yg penuh dgn kejadian..
tp pd 7nov..
aku adlah seorang manusia yg aku rase pling bahagia di dunia..
hehehe

abah bwk kitorg tdo marriot pd 1ari sblom arijadi aku
mule2 abah offer...
pastu aku kata la aku nak..
hehehhe

pendek kate..
aku smbut birthday kat marriot putrajaya..
dan yg pling best nyer nk tau ape...???
aku satu family bersama...itu la yg pling berharge nye..

dah lmer tak holiday same2...
sllunye aku abah n umi je..
kali neh...
kiki n abg ikut skali..
haishh..bahagia btol bile ngn family...!!

mule2 kitorg check in kt marriot..
pastu esok tu g alamanda..
jumpe umi mila ngn kak diera..
pak unggal g kuching so dorg berdua je..
iqbal pon exam..

agak2 da beberapa jam kt alamanda tu...
ade sorg nyet neh..
nama die zaza
heheh
dtg ngn apip ngn wanie..
jumpe aku...

zaza banje eskem baskin robbin beb!!! [highlightkan utk paez angah n syana]
wakakka

tp dpt kejap jek date ngn die..
huhu..

pastu umi pon da nk balik otel..
balik otel..
rest jap..
malam tuh smbut birthday..
hihi..
dorg nyyi2..
amek2 gmba..
tiup lilin..
make a wish..
mase make a wish idup aku tak tenteram..
wakaka
sbb kiki dok tnye cmner nk handle kamera aku..
ahahha
takpe la..
pastu dpt gak khusyuk wish..

nk tau ke wish aku aper??
hehehehe

1- sehat n sembuh dr penyakit neh
2 - spm sume A..
sorry God...sayer demand...tp u da bg dugaan yg berat...msty leh kasi kan wish2 tu??

lepas wish..amek2 gmba lg..
smpai yg len sume da muke borink tggu kek ..
wakkaka
kesian abah..
muke nk tdo da..
hehe

ape nk wat..
bakal photographer kot..
hehehe
mau gmba yg perfect!

okey then..
da siap2 amek gmba..
mkn la kek itu...
tp aku mkn 1 slice jek..
sbb kt kek tu ade kcg..
aku takley mkn kcg..pantang..
lgpon kek cheese..
aku tak suke oo..

esok tu...
brekfes..
pastu g nek cruise..
heheh bes2..
pastu...
pas nek cruise
g smbung makan kt mana tah..
club ape tah..
haishh..

pastu
decide nk g nilai..
aku nk jmpe aimi..
pastu dorg kata alang saket..
hmm
mana tak saket..
tak pantang..
haishhh alang2...

jd trip ke nilai menjadi lawatan org saket..
hehehe

org saket lawat org saket..
huhu

pastu umi pakse alang msuk wad..
ye ar..
kaki da bengkak kot..
aku risau giler...
terdiam jek aku tgk alang..
hmm...
hope he will be fine..
to aimi : pesan alang jgn degil2 ...msuk jek la ospital...
bes per kene msuk drip..
cm spiderman tau..hehehe

lepas g nilai..
trus alek mlaka..
smpai mlaka aku da takley tido..
sbb da membute dlm kete..
hahah

pastu aku on9...
smpai la kul 5 pagi ke 6 pagi tah..
on9 ngn paez nyah ngn zaza nyet..
ahahha
bincang isu semasa..
heheheh

pastu..
tdo..
esoknye bgn lmbt..
well u know me..
wakakka

.........................................................................................

btw..
thanks so much pada yg wish..
dan thanks juga pd adiah2 kamu sekalian...

aku malas nk upload gmba skunk..
blog lembab..
so next post yer..!!
promise!!!
heheheh
salam...


October 24, 2009

Happiest Moment In My Life..!

Wednesday...21.10.09

i wrote an entry bout my wants..
n on immediately that evening..
my dad decided to fulfill my dream..
so..
i'm really happy for getting my MR SMART!!

that night..
abang sms umi n umi fowed it to me..
in that sms..
abang says..

"abg ade hadiah utk nana..tggu abg balik.."

so..
i'm wondering what is it..
n aku guess present tu adelah sims 3..
n yeahhh!!
its true!!!
weeeeeeeeeeee!!!
my another dream comes true...
what a special day for me..

thanks abah!
thanks abang!!
love u all!!!
muahhhh!!

n yesterday..
i went to medical check up..
n doctor says..
i will no longer having haemodialysis ..
next week is the last time..
n i will have my CCPD back..
no need to go to pantai ospital every week..
but..
apepon..
i will miss the staffs that i love there..
especially
kak niza...kak wawa..pkcik aziz..abg yusof..abg daniel..n also abg sllu kata aku comey [tah pe nme die..but credit to him for that words!!]
n i will miss people who i know there..the patients
aunty marina..cikgu wong..mr cheng..pkcik taufik..uncle tade kaki [tak tau nama..huhu]

so..
thats the stories of the happiest moment in my life!!
need to prepare to go to haemodialysis now..
update later..
bye2!!!




October 07, 2009

aiYoo!!!

hadui..
baru ingat nk settlekan mggu nie gak operation ..
ale2..
takpat..
sbb
ade discharge kt luka tu...
ala..
nanah balik!!
apesal nanah suke kt aku??
is it bcoz of i'm nana?
ahahah

hate it!!

today pmr started..
my frenz mesej suh doakan..
yess of coz..
masing2 doakan masing2 la kn
dorg berjuang utk berjaya..
dan aku?
berjuang utk trus idup..
dan bertahan..
slagi masih ade hayat..

disbbkan nanah tu..
aku terpakse tggu mggu depan bru wat operation..
hmm
too bad..
hope luka tu get well soon..
spye cepat dpt operate..n cepat heal..

operation kali yg ke 7 nieh adelah operation msukkan tiub bru ke perut..
utk kembali pada treatment yg aku jalani dulu..
but lepas operate..
its going to take about 2 weeks b4 tiub bru leh berfungsi..
in the mean time..
kene wat haemodialysis la..
nk taknk kene jugak..
nk idup kn..
terpakse la..

but ape pon..
i know..
everything ade reason n hikmahnyer..
mybe DIE nk bg yg terbaik utk aku..
bcoz?
bcoz.....He knows the best..

message : if u have any prob..juz ask Him..juz talk to Him..coz He will listen to u no matter who u are..n dun be too sad..coz there are people who are more unfortunate than u..

October 03, 2009

CaBaRan Utk TeruS KuaT Atau LemaH?

AUGUST..

prepare for pmr ..sdg syok2 prepare...
infection dtg..
serang tiub kt perut..
tahan dlm mse beberapa minggu..
act die da lme ade..cume bulan 8 die bertambah..

after few weeks..
da tahap max..
saket sgt..
buat kputusan operate..
takley tahan da

first day operation[ospital pantai]
1st operation : buang tiub kt perut..
2nd operation : tebok n masuk tiub kt leher [IJC] sepatutnye..tp doc kata tak berjaya..
3rd operation : so tebok another tmpt [bwh sikit dr leher called CVC] n msuk tiub..-its for haemodialysis
...........................................................................................
malangnyer..CVC caused so much problem..
darah beku la...
jahitan terputus 2 kali..
n akhirnye..change again tube CVC..[wat kat ospital seremban]
cabut tiub lmer n insert new tiub..tmpt yg smer..saket teramat laaa sgt~

operation perut yg pertama tak successful dgn betul..
ade lagi prob..luke lmbt baek n upenye ade dead tissues yg wajib dibuang..
so undergo one more operation..

4th operation : operation tu take out dead tissues from the old wound
5th operation : change CVC tube at seremban gh

the 4th operation was really successful..alhamdulillah..
5th operation doesn't make much difference..
still got prob with tht stupid CVC

so having the 6th operation..
take out CVC n plug in IJC..on my neck..

so tebok lagi...

n next operation which is the 7th operation will be on thursday - 8okt 09..

hopefully last operation...

this 2 month..
operation jek keje..
huhu..

pmr tak amek
msuk form 4 trus..
insyaallah i'll be ok..
amin..

jwpn utk soklan kt title...

cabaran nie..
utk aku...
terus...
KUAT..
huhu




August 17, 2009

aLHamDuLiLLaH......

isnin-17.8.09
[11.53pg.]
on9 gune celcom broadband

alhamdulillah...
syukur...
stelah aku dimsukkn ke wad pd jumaat - 14.8.09
dan dioperate sebyk 2kali..
aku bertambah sehat...

sebelum nie...
hari2 saket dan trus saket..
nanah mkin byk...
perot makin bengkak..
besar dan trus membesar bengkak tuh..
akhirnye sumenye telah dibuang..
tiub yg slama 3 taon ade dlm perot aku dah dibuang n akn ditukar ke tiub baru lebih kurg 2 3 minggu lagi..

pd mulenye bincg lama dgn parents ttg ape yg nk wat utk settlekan masalah nanah nie..
n mmg parents kalo leh taknk operate2 nie sume
but..
myself..
make decision..
for my own good..
i talked to my parents..
"i wanna do it..yes i want..i can't stand anymore.."
n they approved..
they brought me to pantai hosp..

mmg full sgt ar..
even it is private hosp
bilik penuh n 3 jam tggu bilik cm org bodo..
tercongok jek kt kusi tu dlm keadaan saket..
hmm
anyway i'm comfortable with the room condition...
very comfortable n suitable for my condition..

so arini da msuk 3 ari aku maseh disini..
waiting for the 2nd operation to recover..
once recover..
i can go back homeeeeee~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today is my 2nd brother's birthday,,
happy birthday kiki..
hehe u r already old..
after this no more 'teen'..going to be 'ty'..huhu
thanks 4 everything..
yeah as u wish..to see me healthy on ur birthday..
i'm healthy...
i can laugh..
can smile..
but can't jump..sorry~
hehe..
anyway...
may GOD bless u always..
may u success in ur studies n life..[not only u..three of us]
i'll pray for u..
sorry bcoz of me the party was cancelled...
hmm
so sorry...

erm..think this is the most thing i can post..
a bit pain..
need to rest..
can't type much..
will update later..
ouch~ [saket kt leher yg da kene tebok..huhu]

salam

August 13, 2009

am i strong enough to handle this?

Today - thursday [13.8.09]

wake up at about 6...
as usual disconnect from the dialysis machine..
prepare to go to school in a very weak condition
doesn't have any strentgh to overcome that pain..
i dunno how long i can stand..
i can't make it..
sory umi..
sory abah..
i've tried to fight..
but it is too painful..
i am sorry..

yesterday i went to school..but after recess i can't stand anymore..
really pain..
so my frenz helped me to call my father coz i can't walk..
thnks to erica n diela..
they care bout me..
thanks..

i saw my sis in the canteen..
i tried to smile..
but i can't..
i gave her a broken smile..
i'm sorry..
i'm sick that moment..
sory..

today..
i didn't go to school..
yes i have prepared to go to school..
but i can't even walk..
then my parents brought me to the putra specialist..
[i cried a lot today..]
city scan..
n they said tht i have infection at my tube..
i looked at my mom..
full of sadness..
i looked at my dad...
full of sadness too..
hm..

but alhamdulillah..
its a small infection..
no need to have big operation..
but............
itu ape yg doc [Dr Imran] kt situ kata..
how bout my specialist??
tht i have being her patient for 5 years?
yeah..
she didn't agree with Dr Imran
and the worst part is...
she wanted to change my tiub to other position..
where i have to undergo operation..
big operation..
tebok2..
hadui...

now i dun care anymore bout my trial pmr..
what to do..
like or not..
i have to face this..

but..
about the operation..
my parents disagree..
n now what we can do is..
i'll take antibiotic n we'll see how its going to be..
this saturday i'll go back to putra hosp..
n scan..
if ade lagi nanah tu..
dr imran will suck out tht nanah..
how?
dunno~

this evening..
my beloved cousin will come over to my house..
thanks aimi..
love u..
sory coz troubling u ..

lastly..
i really hope tht readers will pray for me..
n hope nothing bad will happen to me..
to everyone who knows me..
pliz dun put to much worries on me..
i'll be okey..
i'll be strong..
i'll try..

PROMISE!!!

August 09, 2009

aQ D' KUARANTIN kan?

salam sumer~
yeah aku d' kuarantinkn..
tp bukan dr hosp..
and skola aku pon tak kene tutup..
antare 5 skola yg tak tutup..
45 skola lam mlaka dah kene tutop..
cian2...cuty nie kene ganti..ish3..

hurm..
walaupon korg kt mgss tak kene kurung lam umah...
aku tetap kene~
ye..
msty korg tau an..
knape?
sbb...
risiko utk aku kene h1n1 sgtttttt tggi~
lgpon keadaan aku skunk dlm bhye gak lar..
doc pakar da ckp..
if the infection become worst..
nothing else can be done except surgery..
fuh..
GOD..pliz help me..

disbbkn skunk aku berisiko utk kene wabak yg sgt bhye nieh..
aku d'kuarantinkn oleh mak aku sniri..
aku g tuisyen gak td..
balik jek trus saket..
batuk2 n selsema..
so hukumannye..
terpakse la aku duk umah smpai la btol2 selamat tuk aku g skola..
hm..
cmne la trial aku nnty..
tp wat mse nie..
nyawa pling penting kn?
utk budak2 mgss..
sile la pkai mask..
mmg melecehkan tp tu jela yg terbaik..
aku tgk haze mkin terok..
mata aku asek berair jek kalo ade kt luar umah..

hm..
harap2 wabak nie akn stop tak lme lg..

thts all i wanna say..
will stop here n will post later..
bye2..

[gmba cousin kawen pon lom sempat abes edit..saket n studies tak izinkan..]

mood : bored..

July 08, 2009

what a day...

aku ade byk sgt nk citer kt blog nieh..
tp apekan daya..
mse tak benarkan aku tunaikan kehendak aku..
lgpon td cikgu da announce kt class...
announcement yg sgt aku terkejut,benci,takut,seram,unprepared~!!!
arghhhhhhhh~
TRIAL PMR 17 OGOS NYAHHH~!!!!
rse mcm nk panggggg kementeriann~
da la 17ogos tu befday abg aku..warghh~
tensionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~~~~~
sume menjerit tekejut dlm klas td..
sgt tak sngke..
coz dlm student planner ckp 7sept...
i was like...
omG~!!!
can i turn back the time???

btw..
arini kire first day aku dtg skola utk minggu nie..
2 ari tak dtg..
demam..
saket tht part..
nanah kuar lagii~
warghhhhhhhhh~
smlam g ospital
nurse amek sampel nanah kt tiub aku..
amek darah..
buat ECG [check jntung..]
alhamdulillah..
result for ECG is okey..
jntung aku takde mslh..
aku pelik jugak..
kenapa aku sllu kene attack kt belah jntung?
i mean suddenly rse saket dan takley gerak..

hurm..
its time for me to sleep..gain some energy to do my work later..

can't wait for my cousin's wedding..
cousin pertama yg kawen..
blom penah dlm sejarah nieh..
huhu..
can't wait this friday to go bp~~
huhu see u all thereee~
...........
hope umi shahidah will be fine..hope her baby will be okey too~
can't wait to have another little cousin~
bley aku buli baling2 cm boling..
hahah

update later~
bye2~

June 19, 2009

eXTRa CLaSS......

first week as the school was opened..
all the form 3 students have to attend extra class which begin after the last bell rings for the day..
[[actually the other classes have started before the school holidays..only my class [3B] lmbt..]]
yela kiteorg kn dak2 comel..wakakakk
i was like....wargh penatnye........ da la form 1,2 n 4 ley balik...wah cmburu nyer....

looking at all students carrying their own bag n walking through the front gate to wait for bus or parents..
warghh feel like dying in the class waiting for my turn to go home...
i felt tht the time was veryyyy slow during the extra class which only at about 40 mins..
warghh so longggg to wait....

we quickly packed our bags when its time to go home..everyone was like semangat when extra class is over..
rse mcm bru kuar dr kurungan slama 40 mins..
hahah
pdhal tak sedar..pmr tak lme lagi...
mamposs kalo tak prepare...
huhu

perasaan minggu nie?
tired....saket tangan....bahu masalah....tulang saket...
n agak borink sbb ckgu mintak folio...warghhh tensionn~
da buat tp ade jek yg tak kene..
hampehhh~

June 16, 2009

Oh My LoVeLy CaR..~!!!!








MiTsuBisHi LaNCeR
EvO 8
I LoVe U~!!!
[i prefer white colour...]

-end-

February 26, 2009

If OnLy I CaN TuRn BacK................

yeah..perfect title..

last week..aku gado wif someone who is really important in my life..
the fifth person in my life..
yeah..kalo tau diam2 suda..

aku yg bersalah..n mmg sllunyer kalo ktorg bergado..
its all my fault..
truely..its my fault..[aku suke crik pasal..]
aku seorg yg budus..bangangs..n sgt selfish..

if only i can turn back..patah balik pd hari yg sgt menyakitkan tu..
aku akn shut up n juz listen..
kalo aku shut up..mybe bnd nie takkn jd..
aku da lukekan haty org..
n cukup susah untuk die menerima aku balik..
yeah mmg padan muke aku..
sape suruh bodo sgt crik pasal?i am really damn stupidas..

seriosly..aku ingt die da maafkan aku..
tp ternyata...blom..
n mmg ssh die nk maafkan aku..
kenapa ngn aku?
kenapa aku tak fhm prasaan die??
kenapa aku buduss bangangs..??
waktu nie..saat nie..die da tade untuk temankan aku..
die da pergi jauh n ssh nk ade ngn aku balik biler aku perlukan die..

walaupon die bukan darah daging aku..
pd aku..
die sgt penting..
die fhm aku..
tp aku?
aku tak penah fhm die n aku tak penah nk fhm die..

skrg die sgt kecewa ngn aku..
die sgt terluka..
kn bes kalo aku ade ubat utk sembuhkan luke die..

tak berniat nk melukakan..
tak berniat utk mengkritik..
tak berniat utk mnjd musuh..
tak berniat utk pntingkan diri..
hnye berniat utk mendekati..memahami..dan menyayangi spt darah daging sndiri..

hati aku pd mule nye..tercalar sdikit..
tp what for??
aku fikir balik..
ia salah aku..
aku yg mulekan..
aku yg tak cube utk memahami..
aku insan yg tak berguna..
tak mmbawa ape2 kebaikan utk die..
nasehat tu terpampang dlm ingatan aku..
aku hnye tau ckp.."aku adelah aku.."
tp aku tak penah fikir.. "dia adelah die"

aku tak sanggup utk jauh dr dia..
tp kalau itu yg die pinta..
apekan daya aku..
aku hnye tau mntk maaf..
tp kalo die takdpt maafkan aku?
ape aku boley wat?
itu terpulang pd die..
tp..

knangan silam tak penah aku buang..
dn bnd2 dulu..masih ader dlm smpanan aku..
4 taon berlalu..22.8.05
tarikh yg sgt bermakne..
yeah..aku ingt..
aku msih ingt..
dn aku akn trus ingt..
smpai bile2..
slgi hayat dikandung bdan....

die..amat penting dlm idupku..
tade die..ssh nk ckp..
bagai ilang ssuatu..
die yg slme nie nasehat aku..tempat aku kongsi masalah..
tmpt aku berkongsi kegembiraan..
tmpt aku menangis..ketawa..
tiba2 hlang...
hilang dsbbkan oleh kebodohan aku..
aku cume harap..
die takkn trus ilang dr idupku..
n diriku akn dpt die trima..
satu hari nanti..

anyway...aku ucapkan trima kaseh byk2..ats pemberian kau slma nie..
trime kaseh ats kaseh syg yg dicurahkan kat aku slma nie..
tenkiu..

-end-

February 12, 2009

Hoping today will end as soon as possible..can't stand...

Yesterday..and also today...really bad days for me..

Yesterday [Wednesday]

Hurm..pg2 sblom g skola..i am juz fine n sgt excited nk g skola..

Suddenly mse smpai skola..after few hours..idung rse gatal n En. BERSIN da muncul..i was juz..’’oh no..selsema come again..hate this..’’[after BerSin few times]

Time ujian tara

-it was juz okay..cumer yeah..with KEGATALAN idung yg tak menahan nie..jap2 aku bersin..sapu tngan standby...takot terbersin kat cikgu lak..kalo terbersin kat ckgu..abesla..mst marks for test 1 ZERO%..-

At home

-selsema makin terok...rse cm nk mngamok satu umah..idung tak selesa..badan rse panas2..mmg sgt tak selesa..cm nk demam..tp still on9 wif my beloved adeq angkat..then malam tu something happen..my abah suddenly tergunting kulit kat bahagian perot aku..[sewaktu die nk gunting plaster yg menutup operation site aku..]

He was so guilty..100 times die mntk maaf ngn aku..aku pon rse cm terharu..pdahal tergunting skit jer..tu pon bukan sngaja...yeah i admit..sgt pedih..tp cre abah mntk maaf cm die wat ksalahan besar..mse tu mmg aku rse yg abah sgt syg aku..cehwahh~

After that...pinggang aku suddenly saket..wargh..dgn selsema..bisa kt luka tuh..pinggang lak saket..aku trus rse cm aku dilahirkan utk saket..[wth tht i’m thinking~crazy~~]

-end of yesterday matter-

Today

-medical check-up-

Doctor wanna do something for procedure 4 the operation of my kidney..

The thing tht the doc wanna do called ECHO..mule2 i am so blur what is actually ECHO?

ECHO- check the condition of my heart whether it is fit for the transplant[pembedahan b.pinggang]

Then..doc told me that mybe i will get transplant this year...in my mind[hows pmr??]

[that time i felt stressed,emo,n wanna cry..bcoz of what??biar la aku jek yg tau...]

Now..i feel like wanna scream..wanna cry..coz i am so down...donno why..

-hope tht today will end as soon as possible-

December 02, 2008

mr perfect tlah muncul dlm idop aku..

hehe..aku sgt gembiraaa coz arinie aku berjumpa ngn mr perfect ku~~!! huhu..
stelah menilik2..aku pon memiliki mr perfectt~!! yg mmg slama nie aku nak..
huhu..
nnty aku ltak gmbar die..
kalo pd korunk tak besh..aku tak peduli~!!
jnji aku puasss~~

November 27, 2008

grr..mencik tol~ mood cm T**K

bodo tol lar..pesal la aku leh wat mistake yg sgt bodo..adus..
aku da terabur kan folder2 gmba dlm komp nieh..skunk aku da sgt pning..nk susun blik..adus..kalo 2 3 gmba taper..kalo da sume function dlm family aku guner camera aku...n sume nyer dlm komp aku..cmner aku nk handle~..grr..sekse tol nk susun2 blik nieh..

pd org2 yg aku mara arinie..aku mntk maaf sgt2..sbb mood aku terok giler..takley nk senyum takley nk gelak..dalam keadaan serius dan muke mmg cm nk crik gado...bak kata adek angkat aku.."muke cm nk makan org.."

yer aku tau..walau mood aku dlm keadaan biasa pon mmg aku akn pndg org cmtuh...da style aku..nk wat cmner..nk suh aku ubah??its not easy for me to do that..

k ar..aku da sgt pning dan sgt ngntok..pd sume yg aku hurt dan sllu hurt.. berjuta2 kemaafan aku pinta..harap faham dgn keadaan aku yg mkin hari mkin meluatkan org..

thnks coz msih kekal jd kwn aku..walaupon aku tau ader yg bnci aku disbbkan prangai aku..yeah..i'm not perfect..

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